Windmills of the mind

Update: Home for the Golden Gays Pride Season 2012

2011-11-16T06:41:00.001+08:00

This 20th of November, Akei and PinoyG4M will visit the Home for the Golden Days.

For more information, you may visit the event page on Facebook or join the conversation in the PG4M forums.

Give Back This Pride Season & Christmas!

2011-11-10T06:49:00.002+08:00

PinoyG4M and the Akei LGBTIQ Working Group is teaming up to aid the Home for the Golden Gays!

Choose one or both ways to help:

I want to sponsor:
You may donate cash by contacting us below or you may opt to give slippers, colorful shirts, fans, combs, handkerchiefs and/or toiletries. Pledges & donations will be publicly listed but you may request to remain anonymous.

Click here for instructions on how to donate via GCash.

Click here for a list of Internation GCash Remit partners.

I want to volunteer:
Join us for a fun afternoon at the Home!
1:00 - 5:00 PM
November 26, 2011 | Saturday
Home for the Golden Gays
#108 David Street corner F.B. Harrison, Pasay City

For more information, visit the event's page on Facebook.

You may also join the conversation in the PG4M forums

Home for the Golden Gays

The Home for the Golden Gays is "a refuge for the elderly and vulnerable gays of Manila. A home for those, who have nowhere else to go, for those whose families have rejected them, and for those who simply want to be in the company of other elderly gays."

PinoyG4M: Straight Talk for Gay Men

PG4M (Pinoy Guys4Men) is an online message board for Filipino and Philippine-based gay and bisexual men. This site aims to provide a venue for conversation and exchange of ideas among its members, providing a venue for friendship, a sense of community, and a sounding board for opinions and concerns of gay men regarding the current issues and trends facing not just the LGBT people, but the society in general.

Contact:
Lanchie Abanco
+63 917 365 9620
lanchie@gmail.com

Akei LGBTIQ Working Group

The LGBTIQ Working Group of Akei considers the status of lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, intersexual & questioning/queer (LGBTIQ) peoples as one of the last great civil issues of our time. In countries around the world, LGBTIQs face issues on multiple fronts--in justice systems, workplaces and even among their peers. Akei plans to concentrate on improving movement tactics, social networks and cultural capital in the LGBTIQ community through harnessing intellectual resources so as to create systemic changes in how LGBTIQ people are treated in society.

Contact:
PJ Salenda
Akei LGBTIQ Working Group
+63 918 942 8513
prsalenda@gmail.com

Suddenly You Were Out of My Reach

2011-11-01T19:38:00.000+08:00

Suddenly you were out of my reach
And I was an infant without my rattle
Then I was a baby without a bottle

Suddenly you were out of my sight
And I was a child without my mother
Then I was a kid without a father

Suddenly you were no longer beside me
And I would feel the cold of winter
Then I would sweat in the heat of summer

Suddenly I could no longer feel you
And I am a man with just a memory
Then I am someone living in reverie

Suddenly I will open my eyes
And I will see I am one and alone
Then I will not see why I am alone

Akei and PG4M to Visit Home for the Golden Gays

2011-10-27T19:19:00.000+08:00

In celebration of Manila Pride 2011, PinoyG4M and Akei will hold an Outreach Program to Home for the Golden Gays.

Much like Golden Acres or Home for the Aged, the Home serves as a refuge for the elderly but is targeted towards the elderly gay. What better way to celebrate this Gay Pride season than to give back to help those who were there before us.

This is an open invitation for anyone who wishes to help us help the Home. Anyone who wants to pledge any amount, you may contact Lanchie at (63) 917 365 9620 or send an email to lanchie@gmail.com.

For more information, you may visit the links above.

Unless someone like you cares a whole awful lot, nothing is going to get better. It's not.
~Dr. Seuss

Surprisingly

2011-10-11T01:53:00.001+08:00

I'm still getting views in this blog although I haven't updated it in such a long time!

Surprise!

Fad

2011-04-12T19:42:00.002+08:00

Minsan nabigyan ako ng isang laruan
Na siyang ikinatuwa ko naman
Ikinasaya, kaya napaglaruan
Hanggang sa ito'y napagsawahan.

Napagsawahan hanggang nakalimutan
Ni kung saan ko huling iniwan
Hindi ko na matandaan
Maaaring doon, maaaring diyan.

Hanggang isang araw aking nakita
Ang laruan ko, hawak ng isang bata.
Sigaw ko, "bata, bata, akin yan a!"
"Hindi ah! Akin 'to," sagot niya.

"Eh, sa'n mo ba yan nakuha?"
Tanong ko naman sa kan'ya.
"Dun o," sambit niya
Habang nakaturo sa basura.

Napatunayan kong yun nga ang laruan ko
Dahil ang basurang kanyang itinuro
Ay mga laman dati ng aking kwarto,
Mga pinaglumahan, pinagsawahan ko.

Samantala, biglang lumapit ang isa pang bata
At inagaw ang laruan ko mula sa isa pa.
Doon ako napaisip nang bigla
"Pinagaagawan nila yun e luma na?"

Kasabay nun ay bigla kong nadama,
Selos! Matinding selos sa kanila.
Sa isip ko, "akin yun ah!
Bakit ngayon nasakanila na?"

Habang sila'y nagaaway aking pinagmasdan
ang laruan kong kanilang pinagaagawan.
"Luma na nga pero akin pa rin 'yan!"
Paulit-ulit s'aking isipan.

Sa huli naisip ko na lang,
"Sino man maglaro s'aking laruan,
Kung saan-saan man ang kanyang mapuntahan,
Akin pa rin ang laruan na 'yan."

Para Kay B1

2011-03-19T10:02:00.003+08:00

You deserve to find happiness and I don't want to be the one who will stop you from doing so. I may not ever be ready for what you are expecting. If you wait for me, you might just be waiting in vain.

You still have a long way ahead of you while I had been damaged a long time ago. Don't let me stop you from being happy. It's difficult for me to let go of something very special to me, but I already am full of cracks. A tighter grip on me might make me break and the pieces may just bleed you. I'm sorry. I really am.

You'll eventually find someone who can love you and treat you better than I can, someone who you can truly be happy with.

It's not easy to let you go, believe me, but I realized I won't be good for you. If you continue holding on to me, I can't promise that you won't get hurt and I don't want to see you get hurt. Especially not by me.

Letting you go might be the biggest mistake I'll ever make but I don't want to be selfish anymore. I've told you before that the reason why I stay with you is because you make me happy. I'm happy when I'm with you, but I realized you won't be truly happy just loving me. You deserve to be loved back.

Out there, somewhere, someone can love you the way you deserve.

Right now, you say you're okay with all that. You say that I should just let you love me and you'll be happy that way, but you're just drunk from what we had. Eventually, when you find another someone special, you'll realize you can be happier than you are with me.

The Juna Monologue: Uber Random Thoughts for the moment:

2011-03-11T07:02:00.003+08:00

A double-decker peanut butter and strawberry jelly sandwich, a cup of coffee, a stick of cigarette, and Basia's Clear Horizon playing in the background for breakfast. Breakfast? Hah! I haven't even slept yet so this should be counted as - uhm - midnight snack? Since I'm supposed to have slept hours ago but still haven't and instead am eating?

Sometimes I hate the night shift but I've gotten so used to it after living like this for several years, I've even gotten used to hating it. Go figure!

Oh, dear! I just remembered I have almost a month's stack of dirty clothes but haven't had the time to get them to the laundry shop. No. Actually, I've just been too lazy to do that. Now I'm running out of decent clothes to wear so I'm gonna have to finally drop by the laundry shop to have 'em washed.

I also need to shop for grocers. Our cupboard's almost empty. I wanted to make an Omelet earlier but found no eggs and I was too lazy to go buy some. Scratch that. I was too lazy to dress (since I'm only wearing boxers at the moment) to go buy.

Cigarette's all burnt out. Let me light another stick...

*puffing smoke*

I should quit. I've been planning on quitting but never gotten around finishing up the plan. Oh, well. Planning is too tiring, so what the heck!

Jeez! I'm such a lazy ass, I know.

Wait! This is supposed to be a thread for my one-liners, right? So this shouldn't be here, right? But it's my thread, right? Am I making any sense?

No, I guess not. I never make sense, anyway. I wonder how the people around me could survive my ranting! Sometimes I feel like my thoughts have absolutely no coherence. I guess that's why I only come up with one-liners. Just to be on the safe.

Speaking of one-liners and this thread, I can't even remember how this thread came up. I just know it's Bananafish's fault why this thread exists but I can't remember the story behind it. Was there even a story? Or was this thread just another random thought? Maybe I'm just a random thought and I don't really exist!

Oops! There I go again. Rant! Rant! Rant!

Someone make me stop! Please!

Now I'm just typing along and my fingers are actually just hitting the keys without thinking. I think I'm just typing in rhythm to Basia's "An Olive Tree" which is now playing in the background. It's such a conducive music to type to.

Err...

"Conducive music to type to"? What the hell was that?

Bitter Haikus

2010-10-19T11:47:00.003+08:00

This land had been parched
and had so long awaited
for the rain to pour.

Its cracked surfaces
longed for a taste of raindrop.
So long ago dried.

It looked up above
to the high heavens and prayed
for rain to pour down.

And when the rain came
to quench this dry land's thirst,
it came quick then left.

Once parched, now it's mud
but will eventually dry
sooner or later.

Limos

2010-09-30T15:50:00.000+08:00

Barya lang ang hinhingi ko.
Baryang ‘di mahalaga sa’yo.
Baryang pantawid ng gutom.
Baryang maibibigay mo.

Kahit maliit na halaga
Kaya kong dyan magtiyaga.
Mapawi ko lang ang uhaw.
Ayos na. Kuntento na.

Hindi ba talaga maaari
Konting barya’y maitabi?
Makukuntento naman ako
Sa baryang kahit kakaunti.

Kung ‘di talaga maibibigay.
Sige, dito lang ako maghihintay
Hanggang magkaroon ka na,
Hanggang handa ka nang ibigay
Baryang kukumpleto s’aking buhay.

Not in Love

2010-09-27T13:15:00.003+08:00

No, I am not in love.

I’m just intoxicated by your kisses, addicted to your embrace, high on having your eyes on me, but no. I’m not in love. Even though people around me say I smile whenever I say your name or that my face lights up whenever I talk about you, I’m just not ready to admit it yet.

I will admit that I want you, long for you, always want to be with you. I admit that I start missing you five minutes after being away and that my mind is always filled with thoughts of you. I know that I wish you’d never be out of my sight, that we’d spend every day together, but does that already mean I’m in love? No. It doesn’t prove anything.

Will it really make a difference if I do or do not love you? Will it change anything for you? Do you even care?

I don’t even know what I am to you if I am anything at all. For all I know we’re just playing a game and the rules are yours to dictate; and the rules you have laid out say I lose if I fall in love. See, I don’t care much about losing so I won’t admit I’m in love. I don’t want to lose this game.

Stubborn pride, you say? Maybe it is. Maybe I’m just too proud to admit defeat or maybe I’m just trying to protect myself because losing a game like this can be very painful and can inflict a wound that may take forever to heal.

Someone just told me: if you’re not brave enough to take the risk with somebody, then you should be strong enough to be alone.

At this point, I can only say I’m gathering my strength. I just can’t say whether I’m using my strength to brave the risk or reserve it to survive loneliness.

Sunsets

2010-04-06T16:19:00.001+08:00

The sunset had always had an effect on him, had always been such a dramatic scene for his dementia. It was his refuge, the only one he knew. Sunsets embodied the end, but it wasn't so for him. For him, it was the picture of a new beginning, of rebirth... like spring. The night would come, a time when the day starts to be reborn.

Yet, as he watched the sun slowly being engulfed by the mountains, he didn't feel like a day was being reborn. He felt alone. Instead of feeling bubbly over the sheer beauty of the natural set, he felt devoid, as though he was floating in dark oblivion.

Darkness started to imbibe him so slowly, cold wind slapping his cheeks, stinging him. Still, he remained unmoved, simply standing beside an aged pine tree. He wished it was raining, because he was starting to cry. He wanted nature to grieve with him. He wanted heaven to shed tears for and with him.

He was mournful, too badly. She had left him all alone.

It had been one long year since she abandoned him, for reasons that he could not take in. Ever since, he went to this side of the mountain, hoping that the sunset would give him the wisdom to move on. Always, he wished that the old pine tree beside him would administer him even a bit of courage to continue with his life, as the tree obviously had so much of life to taste.

In the days of that year, he tried to live his normal life, trying to pretend she never existed in his life. He tried all he could to forget, tried every way he knew just to omit her memories from his already nebulous sanity. However, he never succeeded. Not one day passed his in life that he didn't think of her; her lovely wholeness was tattooed on his mind.

She was his life, his love. The only one he ever loved.

He'd had too many women in his life, women of all kinds - flirts, sophisticates. He'd had them all, but they were all just playing, like him. He knew they were players, because he was one of them. Except this one... she had the power to make him fall in love with her, just because her love for him was all too real for him not to notice.

Then why did she go away? Why did she leave him alone?

Oh, he wasn't supposed to ask himself. He knew why. He just didn't want to admit it.

Raindrops started to fall; just what he was waiting for. He longed for the rage of the harsh winds that threw the raindrops into storm. He wished for a typhoon!

"Nice idea!" he murmured, talking to nobody in particular. Just the wind and the rain were his company. And he laughed a low hollow laugh that reverberated, echoed through the same hollow atmosphere. Anyone who heard would have shivered for it was a laugh a lot colder than the wind; the kind of laugh that sounded so very wicked, yet so very lonely. It was the laughter of solitaire.

The rain started to pour stronger, hitting him hard on the face with every drop. Every tiny globule of drenching rain was sting, painful on his skin. Yet none can ever be more painful than how he felt, because he felt like his heart was ripped out fresh from his chest, leaving him null and void inside. So very barren, blank... he couldn't handle the scorching, searing pain.

Strong winds blew harder, so strong yet he remained very still. The tall grasses around him swayed, dancing in blessed mirth. He watched as pine needles snapped out of their nodes thinking that it must be painful.

Yes, it was how he felt -- like his heart being snapped out from his arteries, and he whispered to himself a question: "Why did I never tell her I loved her..."

He howled, but not in physical pain. His shout would have deafened the whole world, deafened not their ears, but their hearts. He shouted, just before blankness ruled over.

***

She was there; he could see her. She must have followed him to the cliff. She must know; this place had always been memorable for both of them. They met here, how could they forget?

With easy grace, she slowly walked towards him, taking every step gingerly. She hadn't changed. She was still beautiful.

He waited for her to reach him, a smile creasing his lips. Blithe, that was how he felt, so heavenly. She returned to him, she came back. It took him every ounce of self-control not to jump for joy. He was just so overwhelmed with indescribable rapture.

As soon as she reached him, he took her in his arms. He could see the regret in her eyes, pleading to him to take her back. Her heart was in her hands, offering it back to him. And she took it with care although greedily. He took it back to make him whole again, took it with staggering joy that he hugged her so tight. One that never told her he'd never let her go. Never.

With a kiss, he told her of his love... for the first time. Although he knew she didn't need his words, he spoke it over and over...

Again and again...

Echoing...

***

He woke to the shadows of the still early morning; he was still alive, still breathing, still at the edge of the cliff, still alone. It had been a dream.

The storm had passed. Everything was silent. Sunrise was three hours away, he realized as he looked at his watch.

He got up from the hard grassy ground, barely noticing the aches of his body. For the first time, tears trickled down from his eyes to his cheeks. He looked pathetic, a man in pain. He didn't mind wiping his tears away, he knew they wouldn't stop flowing. He didn't bother about how dirty he was. He simply didn't care. He didn't even bother to stand, he just advanced kneeling...

Kneeling towards the edge...

Kneeling...

Slowly advancing...

Advancing...

Until he fell off the cliff...

Once and for all, to end his miserable life.

Sunset at last!

She left him alone though he didn't want her to go away. There was nothing else he could do. He wanted to be with her, his only love. For him, the taste of death was better than the taste of life without her. He could never imagine living without his only love...

So he followed her to the afterlife.

My "To Watch List"

2010-02-17T16:17:00.008+08:00

Here are movies I haven't seen and would like to watch:

Cold December Mornings

2009-12-06T08:24:00.005+08:00

Ah! The cool, cool winds of the North have come. That means Yule season is here.

I've always said that I love the cold better than the heat because when you're cold you could easily warm yourself up by wrapping layers and layers of cloth around you; but when it's hot... it's still hot even if you take all your clothes off. On warm days you can't spend all day bathing just to cool off.

Still, that's just one of the reasons why I love a cold weather.

I remember someone once told me that the cold weather allows me to dress up without being inappropriate and that is just so true! I can put on layers of clothes, play around with my style, mixing and matching shirts, sweaters, jackets, and overcoats and nobody would think that I'm a fashion faux pas. Well, at least not many people would...

Being in a tropical country means, most of the time, dressing up means putting on a button-up shirt and slacks. One shirt, a pair of pants, and a pair of leather shoes are about all you need to wear to make people start thinking you're either going to a party or a date.

That is just unfair!

Anyway... moving on...

The cool winds are here and now so that means I can play dress up. Although I dress up everyday, the cold winds give me more flexibility. It gives me reason to wear a jacket and an overcoat, or a sweater over a jacket, or something like that.

Anyway, last week, since it was really cold, I really had to put on multiple layers of clothing: I had on my T-shirt under a brown knit cardigan and a black denim jacket. Of course, I couldn't possibly survive walking down Session Road without my black cut-off gloves and red muffler. One day, I had to wear a sweater, a really warm jacket (our old team jacket) that had a snood, and, of course, a muffler and my gloves.

Last Sunday morning, I wore a gray suit over a blue-white-and-yellow striped shirt with a navy blue tie, and a blue-white argyle knit vest. That's my church outfit.

Oh! And, yeah, my gold shoes (yes, my shoes were gold... well, a gold and black meld, actually... it may seem totally off from the gray suit but, believe me, the ensemble went perfectly well).

I realized, though, that no matter how many layers of clothing I put on, the layers could not deny the fact that it was really cold all around me. My ears still hurt from all the cool air. I still could not feel my nose whenever I go out to walk along Session Road and my finger tips still feel frozen stiff and feel like they'd fall off any moment.

No matter how many protective clothing I wrap around myself, the coldness is never gone...

Skip & Skank

2009-11-27T19:24:00.004+08:00

Well... here's one of things I've been busy with lately...

This is an event poster I did for a friend. It's really uninspired and not one of my best works, but I think this works just fine.

The idea was this:

The music should be a derivative of ska, reggae and samba such as these genres--Rocksteady, Dancehall, Dub, Ska, Calypso, Mento, Early Jazz, Early R&B, Raggamuffin as opposed to mainstream Dance and R&B music. This event thus uses images that relate to the world view of that particular period of time and the cultures of the Caribbean.

.... and the deal:

Exposure and introduction to local talents
Alternative to exclusive and expensive club events
Caters to a wider class and age range
Experience of listening and dancing to live acts
Real-time interaction of audience and artist
Non-discrimination of class and age
No restrictions on attire

I'm not so sure I got the deal or the idea in the poster but I think it looks better than the first version:

OMG!

2009-11-21T16:52:00.002+08:00

For the umpteenth time! I have failed to update this blog... and even this template that I was working on hasn't progressed since August.

I've really got only one excuse... I've been very, very, very busy! Really!

Windmilles V4.3

2009-08-23T05:43:00.002+08:00

So I finally decided to upload the template.

It's still a little buggy and not quite complete yet. There's more work to be done.

I haven't been able to fully dedicate myself to developing the new template so there are still a lot of touching-up to do. The sidebars' backgrounds aren't set yet and I still need to fix the CSS codes for the widgets.

The background images also load with delay, so there's just text and black background at first before all the images load. I'll either have to optimize the images or find a better place to host the images.

Give me another month or so and I should be able to finish the temple... though, by then, I probably would have another design in mind...

Windmilles V4.2

2009-08-17T14:09:00.006+08:00

Windmills of the Mind version 4.2 is almost finished... almost...

This is roughly how it should look like. Of course, it isn't complete without the text and all, but that's how the layout's gonna be.

I wanted something uncomplicated at first, seeing that version 4.0 was a little too grungy, dark and a little bit crowded. I ended up creating something a lot brighter, a little less grungy, but still quite complicated. Although it felt pretty okay so I decided to go on with this version.

I'm doing the design section by section and widget by widget, simultaneously editing the images while coding the CSS template then testing it in seven - yes, seven - different browsers (IE6, IE7, IE8, Opera 9, Google Chrome, FF2.5 and FF3). I'm still not sure how it would work out once I upload the template to blogger, though.

Angst: Part 2

2009-08-13T20:36:00.002+08:00

Like a lonely child lost in the wilderness, I wandered wary, ever watchful. This world, though I have walked for years, felt new and raw to my senses. The air I drew into my lungs, the sights that fed my eyes, the constant shifting of cold and heat on my skin, and the bittersweet taste in my tongue were not the same as the ones I had been used to. It all felt so new because for the first time I walked this earth and I was complete, my feet on the ground feeling its coldness against mine, my ghost at last in my shell.

Gingerly, I took my first step. The earth felt cold beneath my feet and the coldness swept to my spine making me shiver.

Shivering from the cold? I asked myself wryly, how could a soul as cold as mine shiver from the measly cool of the earth?

Yet, in all truth, I knew what the answer was even before the question was asked. The answer was something I have always tried to deny, a fact that I tried to escape. The answer was the reason why I built my sanctuary and stayed in that limbo. The answer was something more than I was able to admit to myself because it meant opening up a world of possible pain and suffering, of sadness and hurt... a world of reality.

Still I continued to ignore the ever-whispering truth, denied the nagging fact and dismissed the answer I had always known as foolery.

I took my second step, more gingerly this time. One toe landed first, testing to see if another shiver will run down my spine. The ground was still cold and the chill still had the undesirable effect. Still I went on...

Feet flat on the ground, the cold travelling from my heels to my spine, reaching my head, I felt nauseated. I never realized there were too many sensations a simple walk on this earth could bring. I felt the tingle of dust between my toes, the roughness of the earth beneath my feet, the silky caressing of the breeze on my skin. There was a plethora of intruding sensations and I felt them all and then some.

The sudden surge on my senses was astonishing, it made me want to withdraw... run back to my sanctuary. Only there was no sanctuary left for me to return to. I had no choice but to face the new world I have braved to enter.

Quitting...

2009-08-13T20:17:00.003+08:00

I'm exchanging my Marlboro's for Chupa Chups... gawd! I still can't believe I'm doing this.

Windmilles Version 4

2009-08-11T10:12:00.006+08:00

I've decided to, once again, change the whole theme of the blog. I've already created the header but I have yet to complete the other design elements that I'll use.

This is going to be Windmilles Version 4.

I know the design might be a little passe, the grungy victorian look is already a couple months old, but I've been seeing a lot of these themes lately and I thought it looked quite nice.

Of Moods, Inspiration, and Blogging

2009-08-10T08:17:00.003+08:00

I know there's a lot to blog about lately. With all the many things going on around the world, one'd think I'd have tons to write about. So why the hell have I not been updating this blog of late?

Why? I don't really know. A lot of things have been keeping me quite busy; work, friends family, etc. While I've been able to keep my online self alive through social networking sites, forums, instant messenging, blah... blah... blah... I haven't been able to keep this blog alive! My last post's over a month ago and that wasn't even a full blog entry but just something I posted at random.

Why haven't I been updating this blog despite the fact that there's been a lot going on?

Alright, let me muster some excuses... err... answers...

In no particular order:

I started this blog not because I wanted to rant and rant and rant... This blog was supposed to be my lab for experimental designs... (Yeah, right! Who am I kidding?)
I've been too busy with so many things to have the time to write anything meaningful... (Heck! I have the time to go through Facebook, chat with friends through YM, get my post count to more than 12,000 posts in my favorite forum, but I don't have time to blog?)
My job is using up my braincells that I don't have enough creativity left in me to write about anything. (This has probably got to be the lamest excuse I have thought of!)
I haven't been in the mood to write about anything. I seem to have lost my connection to the world and I couldn't care less about what's happening around me. All I seem to have been thinking about was me, me, and me! (Now this is one good excuse...)
Lastly, I haven't been feeling inspired lately.

Notice the period in the last excuse? That's because I feel that that's the real reason for all this nonsense... I'm not inspired...

Too much to do; too little time

2009-06-11T09:48:00.004+08:00

These are the moments when I wish a day had more than 24 hours... Busy busy busy everyday... haven't even the time to update the blog properly.

The Rubik's Cube Challenge

2009-05-04T10:47:00.004+08:00

It's a lazy Monday morning... I got bored... I filmed myself solving the Rubik's Cube and surprised myself. I didn't know I could do it in less than 2 minutes. No tricks here, I swear!

The Pacman Fever

2009-05-04T09:17:00.007+08:00

In lieu of the recent victory of Manny "Pacman" Pacquiao... I just couldn't resist posting this hilarious poster:

I was never really a fan or a big supporter of Pacquiao. In fact I try as much as possible to avoid anything that has got to do with him, but this one really made me laugh!

Here are a couple more parodies...

Sketches

2009-05-01T10:20:00.006+08:00

Gawsh! I can't believe the literary pieces I wrote from around 6, 7 or 8 years ago.

I can't remember exactly when I wrote this piece of poetry anymore, but I remember posting this in poetry.com. I received an invitation from them through postal mail a couple of months after I posted it in their site, but by then it was too late for me to send a response (most postal mails I receive are usually delayed because our house is so far away from town and it's quite difficult to find).

Anyway, here's the piece... so far one of my favorites:

Sketches

The graphite tip glides on a white, lined sheet.
The slender body dances in the air with a beat
That gnarled, tired fingers set.
Out of painstakingly slow strokes
Emerge lines that by sight evoke
Nothing from the first look.

Yet gradually in the slow pace,
As lines and curves form lattice and lace,
Over the once-white press...
Form figures of this world and out,
Happy faces that are saddened with a pout.
Images of perfection with a flaw
Come alive in a fashion that is raw.

Once again the tip smoothly glides
On the sheet that was once just white,
But is now dirtied with lines, dark and light.

And so it was signed...

Yes, definitely one of my best lyric poems and one of my works which I'm really proud of.

I'm Alive! I'm Alive!

2009-04-27T07:37:00.003+08:00

Whoa! I can't believe a month has passed since my last post. With everything that's been going on, too many things I got preoccupied with, I haven't even noticed. Heck! It feels like it's only been a week.

In the past couple of weeks, I've been pretty preoccupied by thoughts of finding myself some greener pasture. I've been debating with myself whether or not higher salary and better benefits are enough reasons for me to give up my tenure in the current company I'm working for. Several of my friends have told me to go for the money, but there are a few who took on a more sentimental view of my dilemma. Yes, I've learned to appreciate the goods and accept the bads of my current employer and I've grown so comfortable in my work environment that I realized it would be really difficult to let go. Still, a higher pay, better benefits, and possibly better opportunities for professional growth is very, very tempting.

Well, the debate isn't over yet. No side has won. I'm still at the edge of the cliff trying to decide whether to fasten myself and hold on or take the plunge.

Then there was this life-changing episode that happened about three weeks ago that up to now, I still do not have enought words to describe. All I can say is that six gunshots and six bullet holes in your car can alter your entire outlook in life. It was really life-changing...

Those are the sad parts... on to happy thoughts...

I've been very busy reconnecting with old friends and making new ones. I had fun going out again with some old friends: OliverTwist of OrangeinaPod and OliverMakesDolls (you've got to check out his dolls!), some old friends from way back that I haven't been with in almost 2 years (I so missed Ma'am Cyn, Racel, and Ms. Weng). I've also reconnected with some schoolmates from high school, people I haven't heard from in years!

Whew! It has been a very engrossing month.

Say It With a SONG...

2009-03-26T07:01:00.007+08:00

Oliver tagged me in this. You're supposed to answer the question or complete the sentence with a song by the band or artist you picked. It was really fun to answer, although a little difficult:

Pick a band/artist: SHIRLEY BASSEY - walang aangal, naka-shirley bassey mode ako eh...

Are you a male or female: I AM WHAT I AM (from the album I AM WHAT I AM) ...mas gusto ko sanang sagot yun isang line sa song: "I am my own special creation." Pero yun ang title ng song eh so I AM WHAT I AM. jeje!
Describe yourself: RAZZLE DAZZLE (released as a single in 1977, and remastered in the album SHIRLEY BASSEY - THE EMI/UA YEARS 1959-1979)
How do you feel about yourself: WHAT KIND OF FOOL AM I (released by Bassey as a single in 1963, and in the album THE SHIRLEY BASSEY COLLECTION)
Describe your ex boyfriend/girlfriend: KILLING ME SOFTLY WITH HIS SONG (released 1973 on the album NEVER, NEVER, NEVER)
Describe your current boy/girl situation: LIGHT MY FIRE (released 1970 on the album SOMETHING)
Describe your current location: ONE DAY I'LL FLY AWAY (from THE SHOW MUST GO ON)
Describe where you want to be: FLY ME TO THE MOON (from the EP IN OTHER WORDS...)
Your best friend is: CRAZY (released on the 1995 album SHIRLEY BASSEY SINGS THE MOVIES)
Your favorite color is: THE ROSE (from SHIRLEY BASSEY SINGS THE MOVIES) ...red as in red rose ha, hindi pink... at dahil walang kanta ang lola Shirley na RED o may red sa title, rose na lang.
You know that: DIAMONDS ARE FOREVER (second official recording of a James Bond Theme for Bassey)
What’s the weather like: SUMMER WIND (from AND WE WERE LOVERS)
If your life was a television show what would it be called? THIS IS MY LIFE (released 1968 on a single and on the album THIS IS MY LIFE - LA VITA)... literal lang? Pwede din namang WHERE DO I BEGIN - LOVE STORY (from album SOMETHING ELSE) para may effect.
What is life to you: THIS MASQUERADE (from ALL BY MYSELF)
What is the best advice you have to give: DON'T CRY OUT LOUD (from ALL BY MYSELF)
If you could change your name what would you change it to: DAVY (from NOBODY DOES IT BUT ME) actually David, but this is close...

Angst: Part 1

2009-03-23T00:07:00.008+08:00

Too many thoughts running in my head. They're like swirls of thick black smoke, smothering... suffocating... I see memories of life past, thoughts of the present, and fears for tomorrow. They imprison my slumber, depriving me of sleep, and force my eyes to open only to find darkness, oblivion. It makes me realize I am alone and that my life after all was just a game of solitaire played in desolation.

Recluse was my only companion. Detachment from this cruel world was the invisible wall I built to protect myself. It was too late when I realized that recluse and detachment had harmed me more than those I've protected myself from could have done. Too late... the damage had gone deep within. It had locked up my soul, chained my heart, and slayed my emotions that I became nothing more than a shell... empty... hollow... nothing but a cold, soulless corpse.

For a long time, that corpse walked this earth, and yet no eyes ever laid upon it, visible to none but itself. That corpse walked alongside people, and yet its feet never touched the ground. Always afloat, never descended, it was afraid to feel the cold earth touching its own cold self.

Slowly, though, the walls of the limbo in which this corpse' forgotten soul had hidden began to crumble. The forgotten soul struggled to rebuild its sanctuary's walls, brick by brick, stone by stone. Yet for each stone it laid, two fell. For each brick it placed back, two crumbled. The more it struggled, the more the walls collapsed. The fight was futile.

That soul, my soul, the real me had no choice left but to step out of the sanctuary.

On Suzette Nicolas

2009-03-19T00:31:00.005+08:00

This just came up because of a friend's status post in facebook. I'm not going to comment on this but will leave it up to whoever dares to read her sworn statement.

My Voodoo

2009-03-12T08:53:00.006+08:00

Voodoo dolls aren't just for casting spells anymore...they're now also good for displaying on your work station. Isn't it adorable?

The doll's a product from a friend and fellow blogger, OliverTwist. Check out his blog for more on the dolls and other stuff.

You can get accessories for your doll, too! Nifty!

You can visit www.olivermakesdolls.co.nr for more info.

Update: The Omnia

2009-03-11T20:39:00.002+08:00

Yes... After days of waiting... I finally got my hands on this amazingly sleek gadget, the Samsung Omnia.

I've said before that patience is a virtue... but I'll also say that there's a thin line between patience and martyrdom and martyr is not a word I would like to be attached to me. So I figured bitching about matters that irritate can get the job done faster.

At any rate, after getting delayed for three days, the handset was finally delivered... actually, it wasn't... I had to pick it up because the delivery guys couldn't find our address. But after waiting for days, I didn't care anymore. I just wanted to have that phone on my hands!

So there... after all the hullabaloo, I've got my precious with me. I'm happy now.

The Letter

2009-03-09T08:15:00.002+08:00

I was browsing through my backup cd's, looking for digital resources I had stashed away when I came upon one of my old scribbles. It was written a little over 7 years ago and I can't really remember what had driven me to write the prose, but sure as hell it was one of my more melodramatic pieces.

At any rate, if you'd like to find out what im fussing about then read on.

THE LETTER

Friday, November 30, 2001
10:14:48 PM

Dear Friend,

You may still be able to remember up to now the first time we met down the old walk-path at the hill. I told you then, that first time I ever saw you, that the view was good at that place didn't I? Indeed, I loved the panorama and I loved the feelings that just sitting there brought to my senses. I loved the way the scent of tall grasses assailed my nostrils as they swayed in the dimming light, as the mountains slowly swallowed the sun. I loved the feel of the solid earth as I sat on the mass, its dirt clinging to my old faded denims. I loved the whisper of the winds as they told me the stories of the many lives they've witnessed, and I was glad that the winds had witnessed mine.

Haven't I told you that life was beautiful? I have, haven't I? You even looked at me with so many questions in your eyes. I knew you were thinking I was crazy even if you hadn't told me so. The questions that were written all over your face did the speaking for you. I still remember it was as if your mind touched my heart and whispered what you thought of me for I remember a strange feeling of your thoughts. Then you told me you went to the hill to be alone and to think about your disordered life and wasn't expecting me to be lounging around and on the grass as if I lived right there. I had wanted to say I wasn't expecting you either but thought better of it.

Yet I'm glad that you came that day before the sun had totally hidden in the darkness of the coming night. I was glad you were there, like the winds were there, to witness my life as you let me witness yours. Wouldn't you even consider that day to be the start of our unexpected friendship? Maybe yes for the following day you were there again, and had arrived before I did. You waited for me, didn't you? Yes, you told me so, too. You waited for me because you wanted to tell me something. Indeed, you told me much that day and all about your life. How you hated it so much that you wished you were never born. How you wanted to be just a stone, to not be able to feel or think about anything at all. You had wished for a lot rather than live. You told me how you wished for all your wishes -- desperately.

I remember your somber eyes as your mouth threw away words that accounted for your whole being, your whole life. They reached out for something you knew you would never get hold of -- nonexistence. So I told you then that you would have not been able to do anything about that matter for you were already there. You already existed and nonexistence was no more a choice of yours than it was for those not existing at all. You didn't speak afterwards and we just watched the sunset in amazingly lurid silence until we went off to continue with what we were supposed to be doing.

A week passed after that day and I didn't see you in my everyday life at the hill. Oh, I wondered what happened to you. I thought that perhaps you had tried to reach your dream of nonexistence, so I began to worry a lot.

When we again met on the old walk-path another week later, you looked even more somber than the first time I saw you. Your eyes were puffy and red, signifying the tears you've dried from them. I asked what had happened to you; you told me nothing had. So I waited until you spoke again, and that was not until I was about to leave you and you were still staring into nothingness. Perhaps you didn't see but only felt me leaving for your eyes seemed to have been mesmerized, held captive by a space with no time. Honestly, I was reluctant to leave you all alone as I understood you were in a state that was mostly dangerous. Then you asked me to stay with you for no reason at all. You told me you just wanted to have company, to feel a proof of existence beside you. Soon afterward, you started to shed tears so I offered you my shoulder to cry upon. My soothing, I guess, was not very effective as your tears went on flowing from your eyes and your cries slowly grew stronger in every passing moment that you grieved. I was at a loss of what to do, truthfully. I have never seen a man cry like you did. How was I supposed to act when that crying was on my shoulder? Honestly, it was an experience I got to live only once. I was astonished; I would have not been able to believe it if not for the realness I felt at that time. Yes, the pain I felt for you was real, the loneliness and despair were all too real that they almost swallowed me whole. I was afraid I would have wept with you but that would make us both defenseless, wouldn't it? So I thought that I would just have to keep my composure until you were ready to guard your own.

Yes, I did that. Yet it took you hours, up to know I don't know nor am I willing to count how many, until you stopped crying. That night, as I went to bed, I felt hot tears running, slowly trickling down my cheeks. I didn't know why but I felt like I was feeling that pain you felt, brought to you by the life you hated so much. I even felt like I was sharing the despair you were going and had to go through. Believe me; it was beyond my own belief. I wasn't able to sleep; I tossed and turned on my bed, tangling my sheets, trying to calm myself down.

That was the reason why I wasn't there with you at the hill the next day. Yet I didn't tell you anything when we next met. I didn't know how you would react if I told you something as astonishing as that. However, I noticed on that day that your cheeks had a little more color than the usual, a sign I thought that perhaps the crying had lifted even a bit of the burden you felt. Still I couldn't help but notice your eyes. They were still as desolate as the first time I'd seen them. They were still reaching out for that something they knew was unreachable so I had to ask you if you were fine. You told me you were with a forced smile. It may me glad that you were able to do that, smile I mean. It was the first time ever that I saw your lips curve to a beam although it didn't quite reach your eyes. I can still remember that to today. Yes, I do, for I even smiled back then we waited, as usual, for the sunset. That time though, we were no longer controlled by silence. You spoke of your everyday accomplishments as I did of mine. You told me how you've grown to love the hill, and that with it was I. You said you thought that perhaps the hill would just be that, a hill -- ordinary -- if I hadn't been there to share it with you. Of course, I was dearly flattered and very glad to have heard that from you. Such appreciation equaled my valuation of myself so I smiled again for you.

The following day, you were there again before I was, and I had greeted you warmly. You returned it in the same manner, if I recall correctly. That day, as I remember, was when we started to walk around the hill. It became a routine for the following days that came, you there before me, me greeting you, you returning the greeting, we'd walk around, and then we'd sit on our usual positions and wait for the sunset when we were tired.

Somehow, I felt more at peace when you were there than when I was alone waiting for the light to disappear from the sky. Perhaps it was by some twist of fate or perhaps truly destiny that had found us together. Who knows? Do you? Most probably not. If you did, I guess you would have told me. Or would you?

It doesn't really matter now. I believe the only thing that matters is that, through that span of time, although just a few months, I had considered you to be a friend, a dear one. I have never felt so in rhythm with anybody else before. We were much the same, living in dreams. Yet you were that which embodied the dreams of those who suffer, reaching for the unreachable, dreaming the dream of the hopeless. I, on the other hand, was made of the dreams of appreciation for I believed that the soul was meant to enjoy the pleasures of life. It seems as if this difference is a whole world apart. Yet when you see it more clearly, they are both still dreams and one would be meaningless without the other, like light would not be defined without darkness and darkness would mean nothing without light.

Perhaps this is the reason why we were brought together, to share to each other what it would be like to be the opposite of the other. Yes, you shared with me your life. You shared with me the agony though you spoke none to me and I wanted so much to share with you my joys. I don't know nor can I be sure that I had done so. For in our following meetings, you were back to being forlorn and growing more and more doleful in each passing day that I saw you. I didn't bother to ask anything; I knew you would tell me nothing. There were a lot of times when I'd notice the color being drained from your cheeks and I'd feel like the colors of your life were slowly being drained away, too. Somehow it felt ironic that I still waited for you to open everything to me.

Again perhaps, my waiting was due. I know you remember that day when you again cried on my shoulder. Sobbing, you spilled them out, all your aches, anguishes, sorrows, and pains. From your mouth, the sufferings were flowing verbally; I felt as if they were endless. You told me how all the things you did went awfully wrong and then you couldn't face the consequences of your errors. You told me how people put you down whenever one of these wrongs occurred, which was very often and almost always and that you could no longer carry on. I grieved with you when you told me you almost tried to kill yourself by what seemed to me like a hunger strike. It may sound funny now but believe me it wasn't funny before. I felt all those malevolent anguishes and I didn't have a clue how to make you feel that I did and I wanted to help you. So I simply hugged you tight and cried with you. If you remember that, I hope I had made you feel that I cared. I remember clearly as we wept together under the dimming sky, I told you words that I still could not believe I was able to say. I did tell you things, did I not?

Yes, I remember saying that everybody would go through a lot of hardships and that it was indeed very normal. I said that whatever happened was a test to the soul, and that you would simply have to trust yourself to be able to go on with life. I told you then that there were a lot more to life than pain and suffering and hatred, you just had to find them, and in time you will be able to find the joy. Then I had hoped that you had found it in me, in our friendship, and that if not, you would just need some time to be able to do so. I had sincerely hoped that you would be appreciative of what life had to give and that you find joy in that, facing the challenge instead of hopelessly giving in without fighting. Truthfully, I had hoped that I would be able to teach you how to do those things. I still hope so up to now but I hope even more that I already have.

The day following that dramatic scene, you were still looking pale and dismal. It hurt me to see you unable to pull away from the shadowy experiences inscribed in your mind that hurt you badly. I wanted to take away the pain, but I didn't know how to do that. Watch you as you try hard to show me you were enjoying things was the only thing I could and the only thing in my mind to do. Oh, I truly wished I were able to help you as we, for the uncountable-th time, watched the sun being slowly gulped by the shadows of the mountains far away from us.

Our following meetings had been like this, you trying hard to show me you were happy while I just watched, looking at your effort yet still knowing that you were suffering. If I'm correct, it had been more than a week that our situation was like this until the day when I could no longer bear seeing you try to hide your sadness away from me any longer. I had hugged you and cried, hadn't I? Pretty funny if you thought of it, that I was the one trying to help you out and then I would just cry.

Perhaps you hadn't even a clue then of what made me cry. Let me tell you then that I wished so much to make you happy and I tried what I could so that you were already suffering to hide the sad look in your eyes just for me. You were trying hard to smile for me, just to show me what I wanted to see from you and I never considered that. Yet I am thankful you did for it made me realize that you do value our friendship. It made me cry harder. Then you were trying to comfort me without any idea how to because you didn't even know the reason behind my tears. Now, isn't that quite ironic? Maybe it didn't seem to be at that time. I hadn't told you the reason until now, I believe.

As we parted then, I had realized that you were beginning to appreciate something in your life -- our friendship. That is if my assumption was correct. Still, I was glad enough that you were finally seeing things differently for something that had happened in your life, a view that was no longer bitter.

The next day, I'm not sure if you were looking more blooming or it was just I. We walked around like we usually did but this time something was different from our walks. You were more ardent, speaking about things that you saw as you went to the hill. You had even showed me a thin branch that you had brought that, as you told me, tripped you while you were walking then used it to ward off the other things that were on your way. Haven't you told me that you missed it because you were all too eager to get to the hill and it made me smile? You smiled back, didn't you? And I remember, too, that as we sat waiting for the darkness to come, you had told me with a smile, in your exact words, these: "Thank you for being my friend. Thank you for everything."

Frankly, you had touched my heart deeply with those words. I never believed I would have heard those words coming from you though I had really wished for them. If I am right that was the start of a rather more colorful life for you. You had begun to appreciate a lot of things like our friendship, and the existence of the twig that tripped you. You no longer hated such existence because it caused you harm. Instead, you had learned to make use of such existence for your own purpose. Then at last, I thought, you had found joy. You were now at peace with things around you. No longer did you wish to be nothing and had begun to wish you would someday be something. Truthfully, I am happy for you that you've finally got the things that you needed.

Yes, you had looked blither in the days that followed. Your cheeks had more color in them, and your lips began to always curve in a smile. Your eyes no longer held the arms that reached for the unreachable for you already had in your arms those that could be reached. I guilelessly watched you grow into a new you.

Now that you're finally, perhaps, content with your life, I must say sorry for I never returned to the walk-path down the hill again to see you and to watch the sunset with you. I must apologize for not keeping you company as the nights started to greet you.

Perhaps my purpose in life had been completed that day when I saw you smiling, your eyes showing happiness more than ever before. Perhaps now is the time for I think it is due to let you know this.

For sixty-five years, all my life, I had waited for death to conquer me. All those years were spent in anxiousness. Why you may ask...

Since I was born, I had a malady that would surely kill me. Doctors had told my parents that I only had a few years to live beginning from my birth. Miraculously, I had survived for many years, although death was still there just looming over the horizon of my life. That is why I was always there at the old walk-path down the hill, waiting for the sun to set in my life, waiting for the day, my day, to end. I honestly never expected to have lasted this long so I did everything I dreamt of doing in my expected lifetime. Perhaps I had wanted to accomplish everything I wanted done before the malady strikes to take away my existence. I did things in a hurry and had accomplished them fruitfully. The hurrying left me forty years of waiting...left me to sit by the old walk-path down the hill to wait for my time to come. I'm not sure, however, but I believe I was actually waiting for you to come to me so I could give you a hand at things before my life would be spent. Now that I've done that, I have helped you; the time has finally really come for me to rest. My waiting is done.

My doctor gave me just one more day so I decided, even in my weak bed-ridden condition, to write this letter for you. Perhaps, as you read this, I have finally fallen into a wake-less slumber. I only want to leave you this message:

Thank you so much, dear friend. Thank you for sharing the waiting with me. Thank you for giving an old man company while I waited for my time to come. And now that it is very near, I grow more thankful in every passing moment that I was able to experience, even if just shared, the life of someone who has got more to live. I love you so much, my friend. Remember though that even if I am not there at the hill with you physically, my heart will always wait for you to be there to once again accompany me while I wait for you in the afterlife where we can be happy for eternity. I must tell you now that I wish that old walk-path down the hill would hold a very special place in your heart for it has in mine. Take care of yourself for me, dearest. Goodbye.

Sincerely and lovingly,

Your friend from the old
walk-path down the hill

Let's Take Some Time to Listen to a Classic

2009-03-07T10:29:00.002+08:00

Since I'm still pretty crabbed about yesterday's dilemma, I decided to annoy the visitors of my blog with four different renditions of the not-quite-popular-but-known tune of The Flower Duet from Léo Delibes' opera Lakmé (playback may be delayed depending on connection speed).

Yes, dears... it's a piece of classical vocal music from the 19th century and it has several versions interpretted by many modern artists. You've probably heard it from some TV commercials as well.

First in my playlist is Charlotte Church's version, followed by a more robust performance by Katherine Jenkins. The third track is a more melodic recording from one Sarah Millington, arranged for a rather slow tempo. Finally, to jazz up the list, we have a more contemporary arrangement from Dream Aria - this is my favorite.

Just in case you wanted to sing along, or just find out what in the world they're singing, read on...

Under the thick dome, where the white jasmine
With the rose gathers,
To the flowered river bank, with morning laughter,
Come, let us go down together.

Gently let us slip from the pleasant rising flow,
Let us follow the fleeting current
In the shimmering stream,
Without any care,
Come, let us reach the bank,
Where the spring waters slumber
And the bird, the bird, she sings.

Under the thick dome where the white jasmine
Ah! We descend
Together!

But I don't know what sudden dread,
takes me over, when my father goes alone,
to their cursed town,
I tremble, I tremble of fear!
So the god Ganesa protects him,
Up to where the source runs joyful,
The swans with wings of snow,
let us go gather the blue lotus,
near the swans with wings of snow,
let us gather the blue lotus.

Under the thick dome where the white jasmine
Ah! We descend
Together! Under the thick dome where white jasmine
With the roses entwined together
On the river bank covered with flowers laughing in the morning

Let us descend together
Gently floating on its charming risings,
On the river’s current
On the shining waves,
One hand reaches,
Reaches for the bank,
Where the spring sleeps,
And the bird, the bird sings.

Under the thick dome where the white jasmine
Ah! We descend
Together!

Sous le dôme épais, où le blanc jasmin
À la rose s’assemble
Sur la rive en fleurs, riant au matin
Viens, descendons ensemble.

Doucement glissons de son flot charmant
Suivons le courant fuyant
Dans l’onde frémissante
D’une main nonchalante
Viens, gagnons le bord,
Où la source dort
Et l’oiseau, l’oiseau chante.

Sous le dôme épais
Où le blanc jasmin,
Ah! descendons
Ensemble!

Mais, je ne sais quelle crainte subite,
S’empare de moi,
Quand mon père va seul
A leur ville maudite
Je tremble, je tremble d’effroi!
Pour que le dieu Ganesa le protége
Jusque’a l’étang ou s’ebattent joyeux
Les cygnes aux ailes de neige
Allons cueillir les lotus bleus
Ou, pres des cygnes aux ailes de neige
Allons cueillir les lotus bleus.

Sous le dôme épais
Où le blanc jasmin
À la rose s’assemble
Sur la rive en fleurs
Riant au matin
Viens, descendons ensemble.

Doucement glissons de son flot charmant,
Suivons le courant fuyant
Dans l’onde frémissante
D’une main nonchalante
Viens, gagnons le bord
Où la source dort et
L’oiseau, l’oiseau chante.

Sous le dôme épais
Où le blanc jasmin,
Ah! descendons
Ensemble!

Text to the Flower Duet from Wikipedia.

Patience is a Virtue

2009-03-06T18:02:00.002+08:00

I've waited for so long... so very, very long.

Then what? Nothing!

My beloved never came to me... My beloved Samsung Omnia, supposedly delivered to me today before 5PM, never came. Imagine the disappointment and the frustration I felt as I reluctantly left the house, losing all hopes that my beloved handset will arrive.

Earlier when I woke up, I was already excited. I was finally going to see the handset I've waited for and feel it in my bare hands... But, I said to myself, patience is a virtue.

So I waited... and waited... and waited...

3:00 PM

No deliveries, yet. By this time, I would have normally been in the office but I decided to come in late to wait for the arrival of my precious Omnia.

3:30 PM

Still no package arrived. I decided to take a shower and hoped that by the time I was done, the courier service would have found their way to our house.

4:00 PM

Any time, now... it should be here any time.

I was done showering and was watching TV. I had no idea what was on; my mind was still on the handset I've been waiting for.

4:30 PM

It was getting late and I had to leave the house in a few minutes, but still I haven't received any packages so I decided to call up my Telco provider to follow up.

As usual, they weren't of any help. All they had to tell me was wait until 5:00 PM.

Again, I thought, patience is a virtue.

5:00 PM

Indeed, patience is a virtue... and I was quickly losing all virtues.

I called again to tell my Telco provider that the package hasn't arrived yet, and for the nth time, they provided no help. All they said was that they'll be contacting their materials department to follow up on the status of the delivery and that they'll call me up as soon as they have a reply. I was also advised to wait until 6:00 PM. Right... like I had no more important things to do than wait!

5:30 PM

Frustrated and extremely disappointed, I finally gave in and decided that the package most probably won't be arriving any time soon. I called again to ask for the courier service's contact numbers and the delivery's tracking number so I could just make the follow up myself. Unfortunately, my Telco provider's call-in service was, at most, useless and were not able to give me any usable information.

So now I'm blogging about this, still frustrated... still disappointed... yet still excited. The excitement won't stop until I get my hands on that Omnia... By Monday, hopefully...

So Excited!

2009-03-06T01:06:00.002+08:00

Tomorrow! Tomorrow! I love you tomorrow... your'e only a day away...

O, yes! Just one more day away and I will finally get to give all my loving to that phone that I've been wanting to own since it was released last year. I introduce to you my beloved Samsung Omnia.

It's sleek. It's glossy. It's simply sweet and I'm loving it!

Here are a couple more pics of the Omnia compared to two of its competitors, the iPhone and the HTC Touch Diamond.

The Social Network Hype

2009-03-03T01:48:00.001+08:00

Is it just me or does Facebook really feels like giving license to stalk one another?

Think about it. The site just goes on and publish every single action everyone within your network has ever done even prior to your being a member. You get to see who's friends with who and when; you'll see someone's in a relationship with someone; you see who wrote on who's wall and who commented on who's comments, etc. etc. etc... And when you log in, the first thing it asks is: "What are you Doing right now?" Now, what's that all about?

Just last night me and two office mates were discussing this hype about social networking and I totally agree with one of them who said that these sites are being used as data miners.

Sign up and the sites ask you tons of personal questions; it wants to know your preferences, hobbies, interests and whatchamacallits. These information are powerful and indispensable tools for marketing.

Not that there's anything illegal about that; none that I know of, at least. In fact it's an ingenious way of doing things. Instead of them paying big bucks for services that do real data mining and research on market preferences, they do it themselves and get possibly more accurate data from willing participants. Instead of paying people to fill out surveys (and these people are really just doing it for the money which gives a high probability that the data that provide are inaccurate), they get people to willingly give out information they need and instead of them trying hard to find people who would give them the data, they let the members do that for them. It's a win-win situation. Simply genius, no?

I might be wrong and I may have just given them an idea on how to better use their sites, but it just isnt such a far-off idea. But, hey! Who am I to complain? I signed myself up for the service, didn't I?

It's been a Month!

2009-03-02T21:23:00.001+08:00

I can't believe it's been almost a month since my last post. Well, yeah... I can believe it, actually.

I've been a little busy lately. Not at work, no... my job's still boring as ever. I've gone to family affairs, several parties, a couple of dates, and a few... uhmmm, enough.

Anyway, there've been a lot of things I've thought of blogging about but haven't had the chance to really sit down and write. I've wanted to blog about my valentines date, but though I'd rather reserve that part to myself. I've thought of blogging about one of the parties with a couple of friends where we all ended up with unbelievable hangovers but I couldn't remember half of the details of what happened that night. I've thought of writing about my friend whose complicated life can be an inspiration for many writers, but that's her life, not mine to blog about. I also wanted to publish my failure to launch the new design for this blog but that would just lead me to wallow in self-pity.

So after 28 days full of activities and so many things to blog about, I still have no clue what to write.

Come to think of it, I really have no idea why I'm maintaining a blog, anyway...

Homosexuality is NOT a Disease!

2009-02-03T21:16:00.000+08:00

I was reading this post from Rainbow Bloggers entitled "The Ex-Gays" and wanted to share my two cents' worth. That I did but felt the urge to say just a little bit more and so here's my own post regarding the topic.

Gays are gays because they choose to be so, not because homosexuality is a side effect of some inadvertent experiences. It's my belief that while homosexuality may be classified as a psychological condition, it's a condition that the person has chosen to go into, a path one has chosen to take. We're not gays because we're lacking some essential fluid in our brains or because part of our hypothalamus is misshapen or whatsoever. I don't think it's anything like that. Although whether sexual orientation is genetically or sociologically acquired has yet any final answers and the debate over nature versus nurture is still ongoing, my personal though is that it is the person's own decision whether to be gay or not.

It's not surprising for homosexuality to be regarded negatively in some sections of society. It doesn't surprise me that some people still think of gays as immoral, unnatural, unacceptable or whatever negative adjective one can think of. What surprises me is that there are so-called "cures" to homosexuality.

I'm not sure if many people have heard of "Conversion Therapy", but this process has been officially defined by the American Psychiatric Association as "psychiatric treatment...which is based upon the assumption that homosexuality per se is a mental disorder or based upon the a priori assumption that a patient should change his/her sexual homosexual orientation."

During the early 1950's, the American Psychiatric Association classified homosexuality as a mental disorder. Many researches believed it to be a psychopathology, a behaviour that indicates mental illness, and thus regarded homosexuals to be abnormal or "almost invariably neurotic or psychotic." Attempts were made to "cure" this so-called disease with techniques like behavior modification wherein behaviors and reactions to stimuli are altered through positive and negative reinforcement of adaptive behavior, aversion therapy in which the patient is exposed to stimulus while being subjected to some form of discomfort, primal therapy, EMDR or Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing, and several other techniques. Some of these techniques have been reported successful only to be proven otherwise later on. By 1973, the American Psychiatric Association declassified homosexuality as a mental disorder due to intense lobbying by gay groups and new scientific information, but conversion therapy remained to be used.

The term "reparative therapy" was introduced in 1980's and is sometimes used loosely as a synonym for conversion therapy in general. Reparative Therapy, however, poses as offering a possibility of change for homosexuals who are dissatisfied with their sexual orientation. This technique does not propose to eliminating homosexual desires but rather minimize them. Although most professionals of the field had discredited this therapeutic model, there are some who still make an effort in the endeavor.

Yet, whether attempting to minimize homosexual tendencies or eliminating it entirely, there are still no established data to prove that homosexuality is a psychopathology, a mental disorder, or anything caused by biological or genetic conditions. Sigmund Freud, so-called "father of psychoanalysis," wrote in a letter written to a mother who had asked to treat his son: "Homosexuality is assuredly no advantage, but it is nothing to be ashamed of, no vice, no degradation; it cannot be classified as an illness; we consider it to be a variation of the sexual function, produced by a certain arrest of sexual development." Being so, there is no reason to believe that a cure for homosexuality is necessary.

Although I agree with conversions therapists when they argue that people should be able to determine their own therapeutic goals, I should emphasize that it should be the person's own will to undergo a change in sexual orientation and not because their parents, friends or their social environment told them so. I mean, they should be happy in not being gay anymore.

Windmilles v3.0

2009-01-28T14:02:00.000+08:00

I know I'm supposed to have redesigned this blog for Chinese New Year, but that has passed and I still haven't finished my design. At least I've already come up with a preliminary design but I really haven't thought of any particular color scheme to use.

Here's a preview of what I've finished so far.

I haven't any idea of how to place the blog title and what sort of "effect" I'll be using on the text. Like I said, I haven't even thought of a color scheme to use.

I'm open to suggestions, though.

An Old Favorite

2009-01-26T22:24:00.001+08:00

I still can't believe I spent the whole weekend playing video games. Well, not games; just one, actually.

Symphony of the Night, the third installment of the Castlevania series, is old - more than a decade old - but still one of my all-time favorite games.

For some reason, I felt a sudden longing for the game and wanted to play it again so much that I downloaded a PS1 emulator so I can play it on my computer (my old ps1's already busted so I had to resort to an emulator). Once I had everything set up, I played the day away.

I don't really know what's so addictive about these games. I'm no hard-core gamer, but there are certain ones that when I play, I really play; and playing the day away is something I haven't done in years. Last weekend, while I was playing SotN, I felt nostalgic. I felt the old adrenalin-rush of gaming again like I haven't felt in so many years - just another proof that there's a child in everyone.

I remember the first time I saw SotN years ago. My brother was playing; I happened to pass by and just out of curiosity watched him play. Like I said, I'm no hard-core gamer. I never was. Usually, I wouldn't even bother watching a game being played, but somehow this one caught my attention. I thought it interesting, and started harassing my brother, asking all sorts of questions about the game. Then the inevitable, I tried playing it.

I got addicted. I'd play for hours without realizing how much time I've spent on the game.

Oh, yes! Time definitely flies when you're enjoying yourself, and I was really enjoying myself then and time was really flying. So it was then, and so it is now.

Last Saturday I started playing around 8 in the morning and didn't quit until 6PM. It wasn't even because I got tired of the game that I stopped, but because I was already sleepy (I've slept for only 3 hours and badly needed to catch some Z's). Sunday was no different. I spent the whole day playing.

Call it throwing away precious time, but I won't say I've wasted any. Last weekend was one of the few moments when I really enjoyed myself. It was a no-worries, care-free, guilt-free pleasure, like the unattached happiness of a child and so difficult to come by.

Ney Year, New Look, Not!

2009-01-05T23:17:00.000+08:00

Since it's a new year, I was thinking of changing the page design of the blog. I though about doing something nostalgic and thought-provoking with a grunge and old world crossover design, but couldn't get the "feel" that I was looking for.

So I played around a little and decided why not try something whimsical instead... and I came up with this:

I liked the way it turned out, but then I thought it didn't have enough emotion for the blog so I just used it as my desktop wallpaper:

And so after a few more attempts to come up with a design that would satisfy me, I realized I probably would be the worst client a graphics designer could have and decided, I'll postpone the re-design for the Chinese New Year...

Hello 2009!

2009-01-02T12:34:00.000+08:00

Whew! Finally I've found some time to go online and greet everyone a very Happy New Year and hoping that everyone will have a great 2009!

To those who sent their greetings to me this Holiday Season - Christmas through New Year - thanks for the thoughtfulness and I'm wishing you all a prosperous and healthy life this New Year.

As for my New Year's resolution... I decided I won't have one this year. Since I haven't fulfilled any of my previous years' resolutions, I figured I should start with those.

Well, Happy New Year, everyone!

And good luck with your new year's resolutions... if you have one...

The Most Boring Post Ever!

2008-12-17T18:24:00.002+08:00

I couldn't remember when was the last time I enjoyed my job... It has become painstakingly, unbearably and unbelievably boring.

Really, It's a tired job, not tiring. I could go through the most boring movie better than I could go through this one.

I am so bored right now that I've had time to come up with the top ten signs that notified me I'm bored. Read on if you dare...

I'm so bored that I'm clipping my nails in the office.
I'm so bored that I'm clipping my nails in the office and I've only finished my left hand in 4 hours.
I'm so bored that I'm reserving clipping the nails on my right hand so I won't be stuck doing nothing for the next four hours.
I'm so bored that I've found the time to organize 20 GB of files in my workstation.
I'm so bored that I've found the time to organize those files a second time, this time arranging them in categorized folders.
I'm so bored that every 2 minutes I look at the time.
I'm so bored that every 2 minutes I look at the time on my PC, then double check if it's synchronized with the time on my Phone.
I'm so bored that I'm now thinking about how to pass the time when I come in to work tomorrow.
I'm so bored that I wish tomorrow was my rest day.
I'm so bored that I just want to go home, and bore my self some more.

3 hours and thirty-five minutes more to go. I wonder which finger's nail should I start clipping?

Goodbye Navbar!

2008-11-23T06:27:00.000+08:00

I finally found out how to remove the blogger navbar - and the good thing about it is that it's not against Blogger's Terms of Service. So this is absolutely legal.

So what's this navbar again?

It's that annoying bar at the top of every blogger page. Sure, blogger let's you choose from several different color presets, but you can only choose from four color schemes. No offense meant to Google or Blogger in particular but this navbar is an eyesore. It so clashes with the whole look of the blog.

While blogger gives you the chance to edit what color scheme the navbar will take, it doesn't give you any easy way to get rid of it. So how do we take care of that problem? The simple solution is to modify the stylesheet.

Before making any changes to the template, I would suggest backing it up - especially if you don't understand half of what the template code is - so just in case you make a mistake, you can easily restore it. To backup the template follow these steps.

First determine which blog (if you have several of them) you'd like to edit. Then from the dashboard, click on Layout.
Go to the "Edit HTML" tab; and
Click on the link that says "Download Full Template".

After backing up the template you can now begin to mess around with the code. First, look for the line that says ]]></b:skin>. Insert the following code just above that line:

#navbar-iframe {height:0px;visibility:hidden;display:none}

So once that's done it should look like this:

#navbar-iframe {height:0px;visibility:hidden;display:none}
]]></b:skin>

Save your template and preview you blog and, voila! The navbar should be gone after that. If in case you'd want the navbar back, you simply remove that line we just added and it should return.

The Relativity of Wrong

2008-11-21T10:16:00.001+08:00

I found this wonderfully interesting article written by Isaac Asimov in 1989 for the Skeptical Inquirer aptly titled The Relativity of Wrong. It talks a great much about the theories concerning the shape of the earth: from the ancient concept of flat earth to the Greek philosophers' theory of a spherical planet to the early 20th century proposition that the earth is not mathematically spherical but an oblate spheroid until the mid-20th century discovery that our dear Mother Earth is pear-shaped.

Yet, the whole point of the essay was pointing out that not just because some old theory has been replaced by a better-accepted one meant that it was absolutely wrong, that, in fact, they are true to a certain level, and that the concept of "right" and "wrong" are not absolute.

There is no such thing as an absolute and complete "wrong" but, in the words of Asimov himself: "....in a much truer and subtler sense, they need only be considered incomplete."

Now I like that so much better than being told I'm wrong.

***

Speaking of wrong... I was - in all honesty - surprised to learn that Sarsi, after all these years thinking otherwise, is not a cola.

I realize that I might be the last person on earth to know that, but if I hadn't read my friend's blog, Sugar and Spice, I would have kept on believing that Sarsi was just another cola like Coke or Pepsi.

When my friend referred to Sarsi as a root beer, I quickly googled it - just to be sure. I had to know. After all, years of belief, of childhood memories, and certainty of what I know might crumble because of that one fact...

And it did! Alas! I was proven wrong. Sarsi - I could never look at this drink the same way again after this - is a root beer: a type of soda also known as sarsaparilla (from the Spanish zarzaparilla, literally little grapevine bush).

Upon reading the term "sarsaparilla", I knew I was wrong. Now my certainty in all things I believe in has crumbled... thanks to Sarsi.

***

Oh well, I guess that's okay. After all, nothing is ever wrong. They're just incomplete.

A First Christmas Album for Sarah Brightman

2008-11-17T02:05:00.000+08:00

I must say it's quite exciting to hear that Sarah Brightman has released her very first Christmas Album. Although it takes it's name from her highest chart debuting album "Symphony" which was released early this year, this Holiday CD dubbed "A Winter Symphony" is not really an extension of the blockbuster former album. As with most of Sarah's previous albums, this one banks on almost-excessive productions featuring symphony orchestras, session players, and a multitude of choirs. It may seem overproduced but therein lies the charm of Brightman's albums as these productions show her originality and her virtuosity in song styling.

The album includes several season favorites like Silent Night, In the Bleak Midwinter, and Child in a Manger. Of course, there's the usual selection of Classical pieces including her third rendition of Ave Maria - this time sung with Fernando Lima (there's also a Charles Gounod Version of Ave Maria in the album); a new classical piece, Carpe Diem, is a duet with Mario Frangoulis; and there's "Jesu, Joy of Man's Desiring", a transcription by Pianist Myra Hess of the chorale that ends each part of Bach's cantata Herz und Mund Tat und Leben.

There are also a number of contemporary Pop tunes. A cover version of Abba's originally-instrumental song, Arrival, opens the album. Another cover song is "Colder than Winter", a 1984 song by Vince Gill - this might be the first cover of this song, ever (but then i might be wrong about that). There's also a slightly over-indulged reading of Neil Diamond's 1975 hit "I've Been this Way Before". I particularly like Brightman's rendition of the traditional song "Amazing Grace" - not sure if it's a Christmas song, though i think it'll pass as one.

In all it's grandeur, though, this set does not project any particular feeling, contemplative, nor inspiring. It's definitely not a jolly Christmas album, but it's not very expressive either. Still, it's a good audio experience just hearing the crystalline voice of Sarah Brightman accompanied by great production.

Elegance and Effeciency: Google Chrome

2008-11-16T18:09:00.001+08:00

This is not an in-depth review of the browser, nor will it be a head-to-head comparison with any browsers in the market, but comparing it to other browsers can't be helped, of course.

Interface

The first thing I noticed in Google Chrome's interface is that it didn't have a title bar. In it's place is the primary element of the browser: the tabs. It's remarkably minimal design includes no full-scale menu bar; the simple controls can all be found in two icons to the right of the address bar - which, by the way, also functions as the search bar. It's a clutter-free interface, no unnecessary and distracting elements that take up your screen space.

Performance

Google Chrome was designed to improve on the way other browsers handle JavaScript, one of the technologies used to make Web pages more interactive and more like desktop software applications. This focus makes sense because JavaScript can eat up computer processor power, and if poorly used by a Web site, can bring down the browser. However, this focus on JavaScript misses the point on better browser performance.

When browsers slow down, this is usually attributed to JavaScript hogging up system resources. Yet JavaScript is not the real culprit but another technology used to make Web pages more interactive: Adobe's Flash plug-in. It's the program-within-a-program that plays YouTube videos and those annoying "splash" pages that some sites employ to dazzle you with animations before letting you do anything useful on the site.

The Flash plug-in uses tremendous amounts of computing power. It eats up processor time to the point where nothing is left for other programs and does this even without you doing anything. Simply having a page with embedded objects played by Flash open will hog power from your system's CPU.

This is a problem, not just with Chrome, but with all browsers. Luckily, there are plug-ins for the other browsers that allow you to prevent Flash files from automatically running on page load. This is what Chrome lacks. It's controls are quite basic and they don't allow much customization either.

On the other hand, Chrome allows you to diagnose problems with rogue plug-ins easily. It features its own task manager that tells you what pages are using up which resources and allow you to get rid of that particular resource-hogger without closing the whole browser.

I noticed that Chrome may sometimes be a bit unstable - understandable as it's still a beta. Browsing through the history, for some reason, may sometimes cause the program to crash; and when Chrome crashes it doesn't allow you to restore your previous session unlike other browsers.

Features

Chrome includes a number of features that appear in other browsers, like a private browsing mode called Incognito, tools for Web developers to view and troubleshoot source code, and the ability to restore all tabs from a previous session. I've already mentioned that Chrome allows tab isolation where you can shut down a trouble-making tab without taking down the whole browser. Internet Explorer 8 also offers this feature but Chrome takes a notch further by adding its own task manager. Unfortunately, this needs manual configuration.

Another bright feature from Chrome is the download box at the bottom of the screen. It lets you access your downloaded files and put them where you want them to be. The download progress can be seen from this box so no more separate window for downloads which makes tracking easier. You may also view all the downloads on a separate tabs; again, conveniently no separate window for downloads.

However, there are a couple of features that Chrome lacks. Bookmark management is not as easy and the browser does not offer any way to email links. This is probably because it's still a beta, but it would have been nice to see these features early in the browser's development.

Opera... you should try it!

2008-11-03T08:25:00.001+08:00

I just had to post this and let everyone know how great this browser is.

It's an all-in-one solution: tabbed browser, email client, bit-torrent manager, feed reader, and so many other things in one package. It's even got its own fraud and malware protection built in.

Here are some of the features particularly like:

Speed Dial: You can set up to 9 of your most frequently visited sites for easier, quicker access whenever you open a new tab in Opera. These "visual bookmarks" are much more convenient than having to type in the url everytime you wish to visit your favorite sites. Plus, they give you a preview of the most recent state of the site.

Mouse Gestures: This is my most-beloved feature in Opera. You won't find this in any other browser.Common actions like moving forward, backward, or openning a new tab is accomplished by simply moving your mouse. Wonderful!

Tabs and Sessions: I have been a fan of tab browsing ever since it came to being. It's convenient - you get different sites without having to open new windows chich clog your task bar. Opera gives you not only tabbed browsing but tab management. You can drag-and-drop tabs to rearrange them or place your mouse over a tab to preview the site. The best thing about this is that Opera lets you save a session of tabs that you can load later. Isn't that just amazing?

These are just some of the great features of this browser. One blog entry won't cover all the good stuff.

Really! The best way to discover Opera is to try it.

The Cosmic Flare - Moonshine - Aurora Effect

2008-11-02T09:41:00.001+08:00

Just a new design I'm working on...

I'm still playing around with different effects; don't have a definite plan on how the page's supposed to look like as yet.

Those ugly things you call shoes

2008-10-17T00:42:00.001+08:00

I came across this site: I Hate Crocs Dot Com. while I was surfing the web and found it really amusing. You'll find here several interesting articles from the utterly absurd to the mundane, mostly, if not all, having something to do with the ridiculous fad that is Crocs.

I can't say I hate Crocs, but you won't hear me say I love 'em either and I won't be caught wearing one of those funny-looking, hole-ridden, insanely colored, plastic clogs. I have nothing againts the people who like wearing these things, nor the masterminds behind this bandwagon(except maybe envy for the genius of selling out something horrible-looking as a fashion trend and making millions from it), but its popularity is becoming quite unnerving. It is an eye-sore afterall.

Sure, they're comfortable (according to patrons of the product). Afterall, they were originally developed as spa shoes. It just makes me wonder how comfortable the people wearing these are feeling while they're looking goofy with those plastic monstrosities adorn their pretty little feet?

Perhaps I'm just being biased. Maybe the people wearing the shoes really just don't care about how they look, and couldn't care less if they're part of the latest fashion trends or the latest fad. They go for comfort...

Maybe... but I just have this feeling that this world has got one too many superficialities and that we could be better off without adding another one.

Perhaps things aren't meant to be...

2008-10-10T22:05:00.000+08:00

There are times when all you want is to say goodbye, even though it's not yet time to say goodbye; or let go when things aren't supposed to be let go. There are moments when you feel like leaving, and will leave if not for some circumstances that prevent you from doing so, circumstances that tell you that the time is not right.

But when is the right time? And if ever this time should come, how will you know?

Two things people tend to do when things don't turn out as expected: we either find something or someone to blame or we just attribute whatever happened to destiny and say "it wasn't meant to be." The first reaction, looking for something to blame, is mostly common, but there are times when there is nothing to blame so we simply resign ourselves to thinking that whatever we wanted was not meant for us or that "the time isn't right." However unhappy we may be of what has become of our efforts, we choose to wallow in the failure of not achieving our goals.

Therein lies the problem, because we chose... we chose not to do anything. We chose to stay put and accept that destiny did not include what we wanted in her plans for us; we say "who are we to go against the will of the cosmos?" Yet what we don't realize is that we are always given a choice.

Everything that has ever happened in our lives is because of the choices we've made, not because they were destined to be so. Whatever we do and whatever happens to us, we have a choice and those choices are always ours to make, thus we cannot blame anyone else, but ourselves.

Not even destiny.

Destiny is no matter of chance. It is a matter of choice. It is not a thing to be waited for, it is a thing to be achieved.

William Jennings Bryan
US lawyer, orator, & politician (1860 - 1925)

Les moulins de mon cœur

2008-10-07T22:35:00.000+08:00

Round,
Like a circle in a spiral
Like a wheel within a wheel,
Never ending or beginning,
On an ever-spinning reel
Like a snowball down a mountain,
Or a carnival balloon
Like a carousel that's turning
Running rings around the moon

Like a clock whose hands are sweeping
Past the minutes on its face
And the world is like an apple
Spinning silently in space
Like the circles that you find
In the windmills of your mind!

Like a tunnel that you follow
To a tunnel of its own
Down a hollow to a cavern
Where the sun has never shone
Like a door that keeps revolving
In a half-forgotten dream
Like the ripples from a pebble
Someone tosses in a stream.

Like a clock whose hands are sweeping
Past the minutes on its face
And the world is like an apple
Spinning silently in space
Like the circles that you find
In the windmills of your mind!

Keys that jingle in your pocket
Words that jangle in your head
Why did summer go so quickly?
Was it something that I said?
Lovers walk along a shore and
Leave their footprints in the sand
Was the sound of distant drumming
Just the fingers of your hand?

Pictures hanging in a hallway
or the fragment of a song,
half-remembered names and faces
but to whom do they belong?
When you knew that it was over
Were you suddenly aware
That the autumn leaves were turning
To the color of her hair?

Like a circle in a spiral
Like a wheel within a wheel
Never ending or beginning
On an ever-spinning reel
As the images unwind
Like the circles that you find
In the windmills of your mind